The Deep Work of Forgiveness—Healing Beyond the Hurt

In a world of constant disappointment, personal betrayals, and dashed expectations, forgiveness often feels like an unattainable virtue. But what if the real struggle isn’t just with the offense—but with the debt we feel is owed to us?

In Abide in Christ - Prayer Session 6, Pastor JP Huish goes beyond the surface-level concept of forgiveness and breaks it down to its spiritual and psychological core: understanding the debt dynamic. We often think we’ve forgiven someone, yet we remain tormented—haunted by their absence of apology, their failure to acknowledge the pain, or the respect we never received.

The Real Offense: What We Think We’re Owed

Jesus uses the concept of “debt” when teaching on forgiveness: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). According to the speaker, it’s not enough to simply say “I forgive you.” True forgiveness begins when we identify what we believe someone owes us—whether that’s an apology, honor, respect, or restored reputation—and then cancel that debt. Without this, we remain emotionally bound to that person, repeating mental loops of offense and replaying wounds.

Expect Pain. Arm Your Mind.

Here at KGM we don’t pretend that Christian life is void of hurt. In fact, we were issued a warning: "Watch out for offence". But the key is preparation. 1 Peter 4 instructs us to arm our minds with this expectation so that we are not taken out by every emotional blow. Believing that life should be free of offense is a delusion that only deepens our suffering.

Unforgiveness Has Layers

Forgiveness is not a one-size-fits-all act. Pastor JP shared deeply personal examples—moments of betrayal, unappreciated sacrifices, and spiritual burnout—to show that in each case, the debt looked different. Sometimes it was the need to be honored. Sometimes it was the desire for a thank you. In each case, freedom came only when the expectation was identified and released.

The Bitterness of Repetition & Breaking the Narrative

Perhaps most potent is the recognition that long-term pain—like systemic marginalization, chronic disappointment, or repeated trauma—produces more than wounds; it creates narratives. These stories become the lenses through which we see the world, God, and ourselves. A life of struggle breeds the belief that nothing good will ever come easily, or that we are always alone in our pain. Left unchecked, these beliefs form strongholds of unbelief that paralyze our faith.

Just as forgiveness demands the cancellation of debt, healing demands a renovation of thought. The call is clear: “Renew your mind.” We must confront false narratives and replace them with God’s truth. Until then, our bitterness will continue to interpret our lives for us, reinforcing the very pain we long to be free from.

The Lifestyle of Forgiveness

This isn’t a one-time teaching. It’s a way of life. Jesus told Peter to forgive “seventy times seven.” That’s not about counting offenses—it’s about cultivating a posture. Forgiveness isn’t weakness; it’s strategic spiritual warfare. It’s how we stay aligned with God’s purposes when life—and people—try to derail us.

You cannot move forward carrying the weight of unresolved debts. Let them go. Whether it's an absent father, an abusive boss, a disappointing church leader, or even your own past failures—release the debt. Free them. Free yourself.

Because the moment you release the expectation is the moment healing begins.

Watch the full session here on YouTube.